I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
