i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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