even my farts smell like vagina
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
