His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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