garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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