I swear she didn't look like that last week.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
