So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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