your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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