Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
