My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The best revenge is premature balding
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
