I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
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