where am i from again
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
