Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
