Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That accounts for only three of the penises
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
