there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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