I bet he comes in French.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
