It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
