what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
