I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
