Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
