man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
