He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
