Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
