Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You have to summon your inner elephant
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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