You can't special order awesome
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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