You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
