you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
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its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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