I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
