Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
