I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
