my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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