even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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