Can i not drive my cunt home
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
