You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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