Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i would punch a child for taco bell
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
