I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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