How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
