would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize