I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
