I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
