# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
