Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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