i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize