IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
