dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Soap is not a condiment
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
