she smelled like a LAN party
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
