Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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