all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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