I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
