So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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