And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
