ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we made out on top of his cat.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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