so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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