I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
