SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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