I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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