very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
And then he peed in my hair
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