I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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