I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
don't judge my taste in strippers
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How naked do you want me to be?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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