i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
