is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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